How Love Became the Theme of Valentine’s Day

By: S.C. Ali

Founder/Author

Valentine’s Day is a day that is associated with love, beautiful flower bouquets, and many delectable chocolates and candies. However, what is the origination? How did Valentine’s Day evolve into what it is today? What lessons can we learn from Valentine’s Day? This article will attempt to shed some light on these questions in order to discuss the most important theme of Valentine’s Day: love.

The history of Valentine’s Day is quite convoluted. Although the namesake of Valentine’s Day is Saint Valentine, the story of the saint is ambiguous. There are few details we actually know. The only thing we do know is that, “he was martyred in 269 at Rome and was buried on the Flaminian Way.”

The association of Valentine’s Day with romantic love actually does not appear in history until 1382 where Geoffrey Chaucer writes in Parlement of Foules:

“For this was on seynt Volantynys day
Whan euery bryd comyth there to chese his make.”

Modern English Translation: “For this was on St. Valentine’s Day, when every bird cometh there to choose his mate.”

As time went on, traces of the origin of an actual Valentine’s note lead to Charles, Duke of Orléans in France when he wrote a poem to his wife in the 15^th century. However, the tradition of associating Valentine’s Day with love was perpetuated by British authors such as Shakespeare, John Donne, and Edmund Spenser. In the early 19^th century, paper valentines became very popular in England and eventually made their way to America. During and after this time period, the popularity of the holiday continued until present.

Despite the mysterious and complicated history of Valentine’s Day, the one principle that we can all implement is love. Love in itself is a fundamental emotion, and can be expressed in many different ways. Artists have interpreted love through various mediums (such as painting, writing, and music), and this trend continues up until today. Although Valentine’s Day is historically and traditionally associated with love between couples, we can extrapolate this idea and show love for others. The implementation of love doesn’t have to be carnal in nature; rather, it can be expressed through empathy and sincerity towards one another.

There are many health and psychosocial benefits to interpersonal affection. Oxytocin plays a major role in marital/intimate relations, and there could be a positive correlation. However, more research needs to be conducted. There is some literature on the health benefits of marriage, but it refers to long, stable, marriages. It does not refer to passionate love. Some health benefits may include: less doctor visits, less depression/substance abuse, less anxiety, and lower blood pressure. Certain marriages can cause stress, so it’s important to consider your personal relationship before making sweeping conclusions based on the evidence presented. Please see the following studies for more details here and here.

If we go beyond the marital or long-term relationships, there are many benefits to friendships as well. Whether you are a social butterfly with many friends, or more quiet and reserved with a few high quality friends, having friends can make a difference. According to James Till, women who had a support group while fighting or recovering from breast cancer had a much better prognosis and quality of life. According to Dr. Sheldon Cohen from Carnegie Mellon University, “Friends can help you face adverse events. They provide material aid, emotional support, and information that helps you deal with the stressors.” In addition, according to the Mayo Clinic, some of the health benefits of friendships include: boosting happiness, reducing stress, and improving your self-confidence.

Overall, love is a universal emotion that can be expressed in different ways depending on the person and cultural context. Regardless, the saying from The Beatles, “I get by with a little help from my friends” holds very true in many settings. Many of the problems that the world faces today can be solved with love and respect. Everyone has some sort of love within, even if they may seem insensitive on the exterior. It is why when someone dies, we all share the pain. When someone is happy, we all feel joy. Let us all implement this powerful emotion. Don’t make Valentine’s Day the only day of love. Instead, let the Valentine’s Day spirit of love apply everyday to whoever you meet/interact with.

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Tips to Improve New Year’s Resolutions

By: S.C. Ali

Founder/Author

Happy Holidays everyone! As we approach 2015, people around the world will be making resolutions, which I like to think of as goals and aspirations for the New Year. These goals can cover a wide variety of issues, which include but are definitely not limited to: health, nutrition, habits, traits/characteristics, education, and travel. The idea behind setting these goals is to improve oneself. It is conducive to the main idea behind this blog, which is to attain a happy, healthy, and balanced lifestyle.

One of the most common issues people face when making goals is keeping them. Oftentimes, by the end of January, our goals for the entire year have gone on the back burner and are not accomplished. Therefore, here are some tips that will hopefully improve the quality and longevity of any New Year’s Resolutions we may make, regardless of their nature.

1. Detail your steps to achieving your goals. It is wonderful to have grand aspirations, but if you don’t list the steps you need to take in order to achieve that goal, then the goal has no value. It is vital that these steps are pragmatic and within your reach. For example, if you desire to read one book a week, do you have a detailed plan as to how you are going to achieve this goal? Do you have motivation to read? Do you have time in your weekly schedule to sit down and read? Do you have access to a public library? Are you planning on ordering the books? The questions can go on and on, but if the answer is no to all of these basic ones, then you really can’t expect to achieve the goal.

2. Blending optimism and realism. Optimism and realism are often viewed as two ends of a spectrum. However, they can balance each other out, and the best way to achieve your goals is to strike this balance. Optimism, in essence, is the idea that you are, “hopeful and confident about the future”. If this positive attitude is not implemented, you will not achieve your goals. Imagine if you were pessimistic, and never saw the good in anything. What incentive is there for the future? How could you improve with this kind of mindset? Having too much optimism can lead to idealism, i.e. pursuing goals that are not achievable at the moment. On the other hand, realism is defined as, “accepting a situation as it is and being prepared to deal with it accordingly.” As mentioned in the first point, there must be a sense of realism in order to achieve your goals. Someone who is grounded in realism understands the present situation, and does not ignore the facts. However, having too much realism can obstruct someone from achieving their goals, as they will underestimate themselves. The best way to balance these ideas is to implement point #1 because writing positive self-improvement goals is optimistic while maintaining control over the details is realistic.

3. Persistency and consistency are paramount. There must be persistency and consistency in achieving one’s goals in order to implement resolutions to the highest degree. These two ideas are similar, but different. Persistency is having, “firm continuance in a course of action regardless of difficulty or opposition”. Consistency is the, “achievement of a level of performance that does not vary greatly in quality over time.” In achieving your goals, there will be obstacles, regardless of your goal. However, you must stay on track if you want to achieve greatness. One of the greatest deterrents for achieving goals is losing that motivation and high quality performance implemented at the beginning of the year. We’ve all heard the term in vernacular, “you’ve lost your touch.” This stems from failure in consistency. As long as the two are implemented, you will be able to achieve your resolutions.

4. Do a self-analysis of your progress frequently. I call this the “quality control” step. This is the most important, which is why I saved it for last. It inculcates all of the prior suggestions. Every week or everyday (my personal preference), look at your detailed goals and ask yourself if you are closer to achieving them. If the answer is no, then you may need to tweak the details section. Perhaps you’ll have to rewrite the goal altogether. The fact is, it should change in order to get back on track. This should not be done monthly, as reanalyzing every month is too large of a time interval. Most importantly, if you are on track, then give yourself a pat on the back, but keep moving forward.

In essence, these are only a few of many tips that you can implement from now in order to ensure that your 2015 Resolutions are accomplished. These tips were self-generated based on personal experience. Do not waste time worrying about what you did not achieve this year, as time is irreversible. Instead, focus on what you achieved this year, and most importantly, what you can do for a better and more promising future.

I wish you all a happy, healthy, and prosperous 2015!

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